Wil: “Hey, you guys, are you robbing me right now?” Charlie: Well, yeah, pretty much. I just walked out and said “hey, what are you doing?” and the guy pulled a syringe that had blood in it and he was like “open the till.” Wil: Did you urinate on yourself?
On a teenage party where Wil’s friend scalped himself Charlie: I’d be vomiting in the corner, or crying, or just making sure that my head was still intact because I’m that self-absorbed. Wil: I don’t have great memories of what happened next. Charlie: So you didn’t go to the hospital with him or anything? Wil: Dear God no. I think I was trying to come up with an alibi that I was not at that party and had nothing to do with it. Charlie: Running home with the top of his scalp stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
Tom: Well I fucking love Christmas, I think it’s amazing, but I’m not religious at all. Uhh, I love chocolate and that’s great. Charlie: Is this your centrefold bio? ‘I like chocolate, I love Christmas…’ Wil: ‘Long walks on the beach, Christmas, ponies…’ Tom: ‘People rising from the dead.’ That’s just my needs. Charlie: My turn ons. Wil: ‘Dinners with 12 of my closest friends. 1 untrustworthy one if possible’
What if your superpower was that, by eating books, you could absorb all the information those books contained? Wil: If you had to cook the books first, would that be considered book burning? Or would it be fine? Or would you have to eat them raw, I suppose, to get all the words? Charlie: Yeah, you’d have to eat them raw, otherwise– like a vegetable, the more you cook it, you burn up the vitamins. So you’d want to eat it raw. Wil: So you couldn’t like, for example, burn the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica down into ash and then snort …